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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their bond?